The Correspondent

In this episode of Bedside Reading, I’m joined by Emily Tammam to talk about Virginia Evans' The Correspondent, a novel told through the letters and emails of 73-year-old Sybil Van Antwerp. What begins as a conversation about a wonderfully prickly older woman and the lost art of letter-writing takes us into much deeper territory. 

Emily is  a writer, painter and speaker. She has a background in lactation support and now works across research, mental health support and children's palliative care. She  Her daughter Neve was diagnosed with brain cancer and died after being supported by children's palliative care, an experience that has profoundly shaped Emily's subsequent work and writing.

We talk about writing as a way of making sense of our experiences, and about what letters might leave behind when we are no longer here. We explore Sybil's relationships, including the value of friendships across generations and the importance of the wider, chosen families who may sometimes provide something our biological families cannot.

At the heart of our conversation is grief. Emily and I discuss how the death of a child changes not just an individual but relationships across a whole family, and whether grief and trauma sometimes need to be understood as related but separate experiences. We wonder how much attitudes to bereavement have changed between generations, and what happens when loss becomes something that simply cannot be spoken about.